“The very first
requirement in a hospital is that it should do the sick no harm.” ~ Florence
Nightingale
“A hospital bed is
a parked taxi with the meter running.” ~ Groucho Marks
“I joke, but only
half joke, that if you show up in an American hospital missing a finger, no one
will believe you until they get a CAT scan, MRI and orthopedic consult.” ~ Abraham Verghese
As firsts go it wasn’t exactly my idea of a memorable
milestone. But there I was strapped to a
gurney, taking a ride in an ambulance.
And this one came complete with a paramedic in training. “Do you mind if our trainee treats you
today?” one of the paramedics asked? “No
it’s alright; go for it.”
It all started when I came home from the gym and sat down
to watch sports. I felt a crappiness that I'd never felt before. The wife and I debated what to do and I decided that maybe we just ought
to drive down to emergency. We’d just
about got out of town when feeling crappy turned to feeling like ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack. “You know I’m not feeling at all good. Let’s just swing around and go back to the
fire station.”
Three firefighters greeted us and led us into the garage
where they hooked me up to a cardiogram.
My racing pulse had slowed down and the irregular heartbeat was back to
normal. I was actually feeling a bit
better than when we pulled in. That’s
the way it always works isn’t it? That
toothache that felt like a cattle prod in your mouth all day long turns benign
the minute the dentist walks in and you end up feeling like a dumb ass. I tried to beg off of the ambulance ride but
I was talked out of it by all three firefighters and the wife.
