Trick or Treat; And Make It a Double

I've been a bad blogger.  I don’t mean in the sense that this blog as a whole is trash; although that in itself might be a problem.  I've been lax and lazy.  When I published my last post the Halloween candy hadn't yet hit the store shelves.  Now the big wide seasonal aisle in the local super is well stocked with bags of mini candy bars and little boxes of candies.  I've noticed over the years that the bags of candy keep getting smaller and smaller as do the bars inside the bags.  It used to be that two or three bags of Snickers might handle the Halloween crowd.  Now you need at least six or seven.  Well you actually need less than that to feed the little monsters but that wouldn't allow for the proper snacking between the time you buy the candy and Halloween night. 

Sadly for the wife and I one half of a small bag should do us.  Our little court has aged; the children all grown up and moved away, leaving us with a gloomy little lane.  Any kids on the nearby main street look down our street and see a dark and uninviting place.  It was the same way at my parents’ neighborhood on Parrott Drive in San Mateo.  When I was growing up on that street, big knots of children in costume would parade up and down its long, rolling length.  Some were chaperoned by parents toting flashlights.  Moms would gossip and dads might be sipping a little treat from a pocket flask.  As the clock struck nine and ten o’clock older kids in minimalist costumes would ring the bell.  Teens would roam the streets throwing water balloons and eggs at each other.  I went through my egg throwing stage.  In the end the only harm that came of it was some wasted food.  But like my present neighborhood, the residents all aged and the street was dark and deserted on Halloween night.

Maybe I’ll buy one or two bags of candy just in case.  Black licorice. Yeah black licorice; that’s the ticket.  I’m one of the few people I know who loves the stuff so any leftovers will be just for me.  Handing out black licorice can elicit a reaction ranging from disappointment to disbelief to outright anger.  It seems that even a three year old will look at you as if to say, “Licorice? Really, you asshole?”  It might be just the kind of outrage to incite some tricks. 

But I've digressed from my original point.  I've been a bad blogger despite a wealth of topics lately.  In a season of tricks and treats there's been a cauldron full of tricks.  Just look at all the people in costume in Washington DC where apparently a gang of unruly little petulant children has dressed up as leaders and lawmakers.   

Our current crisis has been caused largely by a small group of folks dressing themselves up in the costume of patriot, fancying themselves latter day versions of the Sons of Liberty who in 1773 boarded ships in Boston Harbor and pitched taxed tea into the drink. We now have a deranged distortion of the relationship between the majority and the minority in America.  Ideally our system is not one of majority rule but one in which the majority might very well rule but not to the detriment of the rights of the minority; a delicate but necessary give and take.  What we have now is all take and no give.  Just empty your bowl of candy into my bag because it's all about me and by the way I'm not even going to give you a stinking licorice drop in return. We have a situation in which a minority has managed to put the majority in a hammerlock and threatens to bring about another global economic crisis. But I suppose that's all okay if you can fantasize that you're a modern day revolutionary, wearing your fantasy tri-corner hat to go with your blinders. 

I would like to be able to say that we all know what our current political crisis is all about but I’m not so sure about that.  I have a feeling that all over the country folks are still pulling up to the locked gates of national parks and saying, “Gee Martha, I wonder why it’s closed?”  As someone who grew up in the sixties when the nation raged with political activism on the left I look at the current malaise with a feeling that’s as bleak and lonely as our old deserted street on Halloween night.  On this Halloween I have a vision more frightening than Jason in his hockey mask; one of a small radical group dressed as slavering wolves and a larger group dressed as cowering sheep; and both are playing their parts to the hilt. 

But why end on such a downer.  When I started this blog my intention was to steer clear of politics.  There are a fair number of folks who do it much better than I (and I dare say a larger number who do it worse but they don’t really matter).  But like an old sot I can’t help myself and despite my better judgment  I find myself going back for another half pint of politics; something that churns your insides and muddles your head like cheap rotgut whiskey.  Over time I've found that there’s a frustrating dissatisfaction with every flask of the political swill. It always ends up the same.  You look for something more, something different but in the end you've shaken out the last few drops and all you have is the same dry, empty little bottle you had the last time.  In the end each post comes down to the same basic conclusion.  But that’s inspired an idea.

They say that a successful blog allows reader participation so my next political post will allow readers to write their own conclusion simply by filling in blanks.  Kind of like a build your own taco bar this is a build your own political blog bar.  I’ve developed something of a rough draft.

“Our current (fill in the blank) crisis is due to the _ (choose all that apply) dysfunction: stupidity; incompetence; egos of our (choose one) federal, state, local, politicians who are _ (choose all that apply) bought and paid for; out of touch; crooked; simple minded.  They are loyal only to their _ (choose all that apply) constituents; donors; (add expletive) ideology; mistresses.    Politics in America has become _ (choose one) uncivil; a contest of wills; like a first grade classroom; a clown car.  We need to go back to the days when politicians (choose one) negotiated; bribed each other; threatened to reveal skeletons in closets; got together and drank Scotch.  Things weren't like this in the good old days of _ (enter appropriate decade/year), when Hoover; Roosevelt, Kennedy, Reagan; Boss Tweed or (choose other pet politician) was in office.   I can only imagine that ­­__ (choose one) Jesus; The Founding Fathers; Lincoln: Mark Twain; Will Rogers; The Three Stooges must be shaking their heads when they look down and see what is happening today.  Our current crop is just a bunch of (enter favorite expletive), (choose all that apply) jerks, bums, a-holes, incompetents; whores; crooks and we need to have _ (choose one) a new election, term limits, a recall/impeachment, a revolution; another drink - and make it a double.