Christmas Potpourri 2013: Bikes and Turkey Soda and "Twains" (Err Trains)

"Christmas isn't a season.  It's a feeling."  ~Edna Ferber

Many of us in America start the countdown to Christmas as soon as the Thanksgiving leftovers have been stuffed into the fridge.  And so Christmas seemed to arrive early this year because just when we were waking up from the turkey and stuffing stupor and erupting cranberry flavored belches November was already rolling into December.

Tall Tales of Trimming Trees

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.”

~ Larry Wilde

“I have been looking on, this evening, at a merry company of children assembled round that pretty German toy, a Christmas Tree. The tree was planted in the middle of a great round table, and towered high above their heads. It was brilliantly lighted by a multitude of little tapers; and everywhere sparkled and glittered with bright objects.”   ~ Charles Dickens

“You know,” I said to Cora, “I've been thinking more and more about getting an artificial tree.” 

“Yeah, we aren't getting any younger and a real tree is a lot of work.”

“Wanna stop by Home Depot and just look?” 

This was our conversation as we pulled out of our street headed for the local Christmas tree lot. 

When I was a kid my parents held artificial trees in contempt.  Easy enough to do back then, when artificial trees were strange looking aluminum structures in ghastly, garish colors; pink, silver and blue.  Christmas tree shopping is one of the few things that's not seen much change since I was a kid.  We took the half hour or so drive to one of the lots on El Camino Real near downtown San Mateo.  A fellow with a 10 foot ruler followed a few steps behind us as we tiptoed through the mud created by the rain that we always got then and never seem to get now.  We followed the ritual that every family has followed since the 1840s when the tannebaum became a saleable commodity.  Dad would grab a likely candidate by the trunk and tilt it and turn it as we inspected it for any flaws that might disqualify it from adorning our living room.  The tree had to be full and without any conspicuous gaps in the branches and it had to stand straight.  Size didn't really matter.  Six foot was just fine because in the 60s cathedral ceilings were something that only the folks in nearby, ritzy Hillsborough had.  Our plebian ceiling topped out at 8 feet.  Once we found a likely candidate the fellow with the ruler stepped up and measured the tree, my mom watching carefully to make sure he didn't add phantom inches.  He wrote the tree's height and price on a slip of paper for my parents to take to the cashier.  Once the tree was ours dad stuffed it in the back of our big, clunky Mercury station wagon. 

Thanksgiving; A Breaking of Tradition

Ah! On Thanksgiving day....

When the care-wearied man seeks his mother once more,

And the worn matron smiles where the girl smiled before.

What moistens the lips and what brightens the eye?

What calls back the past, like the rich pumpkin pie?

~John Greenleaf Whittier

With a few days to go until the big feast I stepped into the dining room and noticed that Cora had set the big table with the Thanksgiving tablecloth.  Pausing for a moment I realized sadly, that it wouldn’t be used this year.  This year the table would sit empty and idle on Thanksgiving. 

TV; Episode One. Buying a Set.

 “If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.”  ~ John Lennon.

“People are sheep. TV is the shepherd.”  ~ Jess C. Scott

With Black Friday looming and all the pre and post-holiday sales yet to come, the wife and I have resurrected the, “should we get a new TV” discussion.  It happens about this time every year.  We don’t really exchange gifts so the idea is to get the big gift for the household (which is just the two of us now).  This year the idea got a little more impetus by a short stay at the Atlantis in Reno.  The room’s 55” flat panel made us realize that our circa 2000 tube television could be improved on. 

A Football Fan's Dilemma

Leigh Steinberg’s recollection of a conversation with a concussed Troy Aikman.

 “Leigh, where am I?” And I said, “Well, you’re in the hospital.” And he said, “Well, why am I here?” And I said, “Because you suffered a concussion today.” And he said, “Well, who did we play?” And I said, “The 49ers.” And he said, “Did we win?” “Yes, you won.” “Did I play well?” “Yes, you played well.” “Did— what does that— and so what’s that mean?” “It means you’re going to the Super Bowl.”

Five minutes later Aikman asked the same questions again. 

The VHS tape, NFL Crunch Course still occupies a space on a shelf near our TV.  We haven’t watched it in years.  It used to be an unofficial tradition to bust it out and watch it on Super Bowl Weekend to get us ready for the spectacle. 

Produced by NFL films, it’s a compilation of vicious hits, frightening in their violence and intensity.  Football fans know what I’m talking about.  It’s when the wide receiver, almost foolhardy in his bravery, goes across the middle and doesn't see the safety about to unload on him; or when the 285 pound linebacker blindsides a quarterback at full speed, jolting the unsuspecting player, sending the ball skyward, causing the player’s head to whiplash as if attached to his body with a spring.  My son, my nephew and I would lean forward in anticipation of each de-cleating.  They would watch, mouths agape, while I told them, in old geezer fashion, that this was real football; the way I remember it when I was their age.  Not this namby pamby, wussy stuff they call football these days.  

When Movies Matter

“Epps asked me if I could write and read, and on being informed that I had received some instruction in those branches of education, he assured me, with emphasis, if he ever caught me with a book, or with pen and ink, he would give me a hundred lashes.”

~ Excerpted from the book 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northup, who could not only read, but wrote eloquently and passionately. 

Every so often a movie is released that is important more for its message than its entertainment value (and oftentimes they are still from an artistic point of view, excellent viewing).  Nearly always these films are historical dramas. 

Trick or Treat; And Make It a Double

I've been a bad blogger.  I don’t mean in the sense that this blog as a whole is trash; although that in itself might be a problem.  I've been lax and lazy.  When I published my last post the Halloween candy hadn't yet hit the store shelves.  Now the big wide seasonal aisle in the local super is well stocked with bags of mini candy bars and little boxes of candies.  I've noticed over the years that the bags of candy keep getting smaller and smaller as do the bars inside the bags.  It used to be that two or three bags of Snickers might handle the Halloween crowd.  Now you need at least six or seven.  Well you actually need less than that to feed the little monsters but that wouldn't allow for the proper snacking between the time you buy the candy and Halloween night.